Bestmipfem is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonourable whale.

Bestmipfem created the Black Eye Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestmipfem, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bestmipfem, it will turn you into a mouse.

Bestmipfem's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Bestmipfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow badgers to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not step barefoot upon purple earth.

5. Do not speak about pineapples.