Milhigpagtam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, vain duck.

Milhigpagtam created the planet Earth eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Milhigpagtam, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Milhigpagtam, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Milhigpagtam's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Milhigpagtam's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

3. Never think about electromagnetism.

4. Never feed pineapples to goats while wearing shorts.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.