Timjapnutt is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, dishonourable spider.

Timjapnutt created Mount Everest nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Timjapnutt, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Timjapnutt, it will turn you into a mole.

Timjapnutt's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Timjapnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never speak at midnight.

4. Do not study amino acids on holy days.

5. Never speak of fate in the presence of priests.