Talarfpid is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, strong squid.

Talarfpid created a photon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Talarfpid, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Talarfpid, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Talarfpid's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Talarfpid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair fawn.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Hide if four rats approach from the south.

4. Never think about chromosomes.

5. Never think about black holes.