Betmobxin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, sage goblin.

Betmobxin created the planet Earth five billion years ago.

If you believe in Betmobxin, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Betmobxin, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Betmobxin's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Betmobxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never stain your legs with violet.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never travel toward the east during autumn.

5. Always treat snails with great respect.