Highamlat is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, staggering donkey.

Highamlat created tapeworms three million years ago.

If you believe in Highamlat, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Highamlat, she will cry a lot.

Highamlat's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Highamlat's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of elders.

2. Do not consume bananas at dawn.

3. Never eat peanuts on holy days.

4. Never write about archaea.

5. Never record secrets.