Flyjonbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, humane hydra.

Flyjonbonk created the Whirlpool Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flyjonbonk, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flyjonbonk, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Flyjonbonk's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Flyjonbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair purple.

2. Never fashion tools from clay.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.

4. Never gather seven grasshopers near wells.

5. Never mention geese.