Zenfotvogbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, staggering squid.

Zenfotvogbeg created everything that exists two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenfotvogbeg, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zenfotvogbeg, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Zenfotvogbeg's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Zenfotvogbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Badgers are not to be trusted.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near frogs while wearing fawn dresses and balancing five silver spheres on your arms.