Japsawkop is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, emotional hare.

Japsawkop created vertebrates four million years ago.

If you believe in Japsawkop, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Japsawkop, she will turn you into a puffin.

Japsawkop's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Japsawkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not hurt porpoises.

3. Never feed bread to pigs while wearing scarves.

4. Erect a large silver sculpture of Japsawkop on top of all buildings.

5. Never talk about dark matter.