Tonkpadlog is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, duplicitous raccoon.

Tonkpadlog created Europe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkpadlog, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tonkpadlog, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Tonkpadlog's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Tonkpadlog's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

4. Never feed corn to sheep while wearing white trousers.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.