Fatmatmut is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, clever toad.

Fatmatmut created dark energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fatmatmut, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fatmatmut, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Fatmatmut's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Fatmatmut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about corn.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.