Gepfligdag Sadbagxin is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, all-knowing monkey.

Gepfligdag Sadbagxin created light five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepfligdag Sadbagxin, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Gepfligdag Sadbagxin, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gepfligdag Sadbagxin's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Gepfligdag Sadbagxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Never feed lots of lentils to goats while wearing blue coats.