Gunsomstan is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, quiet cat.

Gunsomstan created a Higgs boson two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gunsomstan, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gunsomstan, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Gunsomstan's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Gunsomstan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Gunsomstan's name in vain.

2. You must love Gunsomstan.

3. Do not wear copper on your body.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always treat squirrels with great respect.