Tagtikquag is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, confident goblin.

Tagtikquag created the Sol system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagtikquag, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tagtikquag, she will destroy your home solar system.

Tagtikquag's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Tagtikquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near nematodes while wearing yellow coats and balancing six carbon spheres on your legs.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tagtikquag.