Bastvagvog Kadrigyogdissortten is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unsympathetic monkey.

Bastvagvog Kadrigyogdissortten created life five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastvagvog Kadrigyogdissortten, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bastvagvog Kadrigyogdissortten, she will turn you into a sheep.

Bastvagvog Kadrigyogdissortten's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Bastvagvog Kadrigyogdissortten's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Bastvagvog Kadrigyogdissortten in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not leap in public.

5. You must never eat corn.