Hatzedsasragpadhasvadcum is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, calm lizard.

Hatzedsasragpadhasvadcum created a bottom quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatzedsasragpadhasvadcum, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hatzedsasragpadhasvadcum, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Hatzedsasragpadhasvadcum's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Hatzedsasragpadhasvadcum's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

3. Retreat if nine sharks approach from the west.

4. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

5. Never feed spinach to great tits while wearing shirts.