Yakhamzig is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, unfair monkey.

Yakhamzig created the world nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakhamzig, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yakhamzig, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Yakhamzig's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Yakhamzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat pigs with great respect.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never mention dolphins.

5. You must never eat corn.