Rotcenstikmet is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, kind goblin.

Rotcenstikmet created Europe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Rotcenstikmet, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Rotcenstikmet, he will destroy your home solar system.

Rotcenstikmet's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Rotcenstikmet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Feed all hungry birds.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.