Ladsakpad is a god.

It takes the form of a large, vain fly.

Ladsakpad created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Ladsakpad, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ladsakpad, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Ladsakpad's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Ladsakpad's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Put Ladsakpad first in all things.