Panstigcar is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, self-confident gerbil.

Panstigcar created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Panstigcar, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Panstigcar, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Panstigcar's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Panstigcar's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

2. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never think about gravity near foxes while wearing green corsets and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your legs.

4. Run away if three grasshopers approach from the north.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Panstigcar.