Pogvinwik is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonourable newt.

Pogvinwik created an up quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pogvinwik, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Pogvinwik, he will turn you into a snail.

Pogvinwik's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Pogvinwik's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always obey Pogvinwik's priests.

4. Never think ill of sick cats.

5. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.