Yattnib is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, all-powerful aardvark.

Yattnib created a Higgs boson nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattnib, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yattnib, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Yattnib's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Yattnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not wear red clothing.

3. Never think about dark matter near rats while wearing green corsets and balancing seven silicon spheres on your head.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never paint your chest orange.