Hanxemlid is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unfair capybara.

Hanxemlid created the Sombrero Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hanxemlid, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hanxemlid, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Hanxemlid's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Hanxemlid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near cats while wearing white rings.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Never feed figs to otters while wearing shirts.