Kimceptal is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, uncaring wolf.

Kimceptal created tapeworms eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimceptal, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kimceptal, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Kimceptal's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Kimceptal's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick mites.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near voles while wearing blue shorts and balancing five zinc spheres on your neck.

3. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

4. Always wear gray.

5. Never look in ponds.