Sawlitbun is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, contented raven.

Sawlitbun created the planet Mars nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawlitbun, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sawlitbun, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Sawlitbun's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Sawlitbun's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Retreat if three gulls approach from the east.

3. Do not keep eight hamsters in a large pit.

4. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

5. Always pray immersed in water.