Bomxucksaf is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unselfish lizard.

Bomxucksaf created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bomxucksaf, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bomxucksaf, it will turn you into a slug.

Bomxucksaf's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Bomxucksaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your face with red.

2. Always cleanse ash with water.

3. Never paint your feet purple.

4. You must love Bomxucksaf.

5. Never talk about bats.