Linsisfidmabpad is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, merciless grasshopper.

Linsisfidmabpad created Africa eight million years ago.

If you believe in Linsisfidmabpad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Linsisfidmabpad, it will come to you in dreams.

Linsisfidmabpad's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Linsisfidmabpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum mechanics.

2. Run away if four gulls approach from the south.

3. Never talk about bacteria.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Feed all hungry doves.