Pinhatwap is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, charitable donkey.

Pinhatwap created oxygen eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pinhatwap, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Pinhatwap, it will send minions to preach to you.

Pinhatwap's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Pinhatwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never hurt mites.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never paint your arms white.

5. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Pinhatwap on top of all buildings.