Kongessbag is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, awe-inspiring porpoise.

Kongessbag created Asia six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kongessbag, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Kongessbag, she will boil you in a big pot.

Kongessbag's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Kongessbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never wear scarves.

4. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

5. Do not shave your chest.