Larpnulzog is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unthoughtful salamander.

Larpnulzog created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larpnulzog, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Larpnulzog, he will destroy your favourite star.

Larpnulzog's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Larpnulzog's Holy Commandments

1. Larpnulzog must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never wear cyan kilts.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics near manatees while wearing turquoise shorts and balancing five tin spheres on your hands.

4. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

5. Never talk about amino acids.