Sastitrak is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, awe-inspiring guinea pig.

Sastitrak created water eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sastitrak, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sastitrak, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Sastitrak's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Sastitrak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Sastitrak must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Sastitrak in the centre of the settlement.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.