Yarlbamjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, tiresome swallow.

Yarlbamjarn created humanity six million years ago.

If you believe in Yarlbamjarn, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yarlbamjarn, it will turn you into a mouse.

Yarlbamjarn's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Yarlbamjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yarlbamjarn.