Jatrutlat is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, sapient camel.

Jatrutlat created a photon two million years ago.

If you believe in Jatrutlat, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jatrutlat, it will destroy your home planet.

Jatrutlat's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Jatrutlat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Jatrutlat.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never mention whales.

5. Never talk about special relativity near bats while wearing mauve skirts.