Cartincuss is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, happy raven.

Cartincuss created parasitic wasps seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cartincuss, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cartincuss, he will turn you into a hamster.

Cartincuss' most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Cartincuss' Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Cartincuss must be the most important thing in your life.