Beplarnquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, fast snake.

Beplarnquaf created life five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Beplarnquaf, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Beplarnquaf, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Beplarnquaf's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Beplarnquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not dye your hair blue.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never feed carrots to dogs while wearing white ear rings.