Komnibjarn is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, uncaring lobster.

Komnibjarn created bats eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Komnibjarn, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Komnibjarn, it will refuse to believe in you.

Komnibjarn's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Komnibjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow bats to witness sacred rites.

2. Never talk about archaea.

3. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.