Hinpasstan is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, dishonest whale.

Hinpasstan created silver eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hinpasstan, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hinpasstan, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Hinpasstan's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Hinpasstan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hinpasstan.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.