Nibdogvenfud Tiptengarnan is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, fast lobster.

Nibdogvenfud Tiptengarnan created a down quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nibdogvenfud Tiptengarnan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nibdogvenfud Tiptengarnan, he will turn you into a slug.

Nibdogvenfud Tiptengarnan's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Nibdogvenfud Tiptengarnan's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Nibdogvenfud Tiptengarnan.

2. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never bounce near mites.