Bifflanhon is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, impressive troll.

Bifflanhon created Asia four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifflanhon, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bifflanhon, it will laugh at you.

Bifflanhon's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bifflanhon's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into magenta rooms.

2. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Bifflanhon loves whales, so they must be honoured.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not commit murder.