Flaptungem is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, confident dragon.

Flaptungem created a down quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Flaptungem, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flaptungem, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Flaptungem's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Flaptungem's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never think about dark matter near ducks while wearing magenta boots and balancing eight titanium spheres on your feet.

3. You must love Flaptungem.

4. Do not take Flaptungem's name in vain.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.