Cabhonpodbarntitshavxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, strong fairy.

Cabhonpodbarntitshavxuck created the planet Jupiter four years ago.

If you believe in Cabhonpodbarntitshavxuck, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cabhonpodbarntitshavxuck, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Cabhonpodbarntitshavxuck's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Cabhonpodbarntitshavxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near hamsters while wearing mauve stockings and balancing seven platinum spheres on your arms.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never pour water over plants.