Nellhitsaw Weeyarpsis is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, compassionate jellyfish.

Nellhitsaw Weeyarpsis created viruses eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nellhitsaw Weeyarpsis, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nellhitsaw Weeyarpsis, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Nellhitsaw Weeyarpsis' most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Nellhitsaw Weeyarpsis' Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Nellhitsaw Weeyarpsis three times a day.

2. Do not speak about oranges.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Nellhitsaw Weeyarpsis loves ducks, so they must be respected.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.