Bastpigflan is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, humorless duck.

Bastpigflan created silver six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastpigflan, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bastpigflan, he will laugh at you.

Bastpigflan's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Bastpigflan's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove shirts before touching tin.

2. Do not resist fate.

3. Never allow ants to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Do not speak of optics near sacred fires.

5. Always treat birds with great respect.