Wotmadxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, passionate gorilla.

Wotmadxuck created the Tadpole Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Wotmadxuck, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wotmadxuck, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Wotmadxuck's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Wotmadxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near geese while wearing magenta kilts and balancing six zinc spheres on your hands.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Wotmadxuck on top of all buildings.

3. Never feed pineapples to voles while wearing mauve skirts.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

5. Do not cook food in pots.