Neldabhog is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, dishonest guinea pig.

Neldabhog created carbon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Neldabhog, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Neldabhog, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Neldabhog's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Neldabhog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help manatees.

2. Do not wear orange clothing.

3. Never feed carrots to ants while wearing turquoise dresses.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.