Tomapphig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, temperamental dragon.

Tomapphig created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tomapphig, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tomapphig, it will turn you into a mouse.

Tomapphig's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Tomapphig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Tomapphig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Run away if eight great tits approach from the south.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Always help sick doves.