Xenfonbit is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, able penguin.

Xenfonbit created humanity three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xenfonbit, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Xenfonbit, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Xenfonbit's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Xenfonbit's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix lemons with oil.

2. Never talk about dark energy near hamsters while wearing magenta coats and balancing four copper spheres on your legs.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.

4. Never hurt ducks.

5. Xenfonbit loves eagles, so they must be respected.