Kemtargweestip is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, amazing squid.

Kemtargweestip created an electron seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kemtargweestip, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kemtargweestip, he will turn you into a puffin.

Kemtargweestip's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Kemtargweestip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near monkeys while wearing orange shirts and balancing eight titanium spheres on your arms.

2. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Kemtargweestip in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not gather at walls at midnight.

4. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Never play with disobedient children.