Jonbegquill is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, pitiless hamster.

Jonbegquill created Mount Everest six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonbegquill, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jonbegquill, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Jonbegquill's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Jonbegquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never hurt sharks.

3. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Jonbegquill in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not speak about spinach.