Gepjinxen is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, effective raccoon.

Gepjinxen created tapeworms six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepjinxen, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gepjinxen, she will be very unhappy.

Gepjinxen's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Gepjinxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Gepjinxen loves whales, so they must be respected.

4. Never wear red hats.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near bats while wearing mauve ear rings and balancing eight carbon spheres on your arms.