Mapbessgattit is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, omniscient wombat.

Mapbessgattit created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mapbessgattit, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Mapbessgattit, he will turn you into a hamster.

Mapbessgattit's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Mapbessgattit's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry tortoises.

2. Shun those given to vanity.

3. Always look after injured moths.

4. Never fashion tools from bone.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching zinc.