Jopruttjab is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, strong alligator.

Jopruttjab created life four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopruttjab, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jopruttjab, she will send you a sign.

Jopruttjab's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Jopruttjab's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Jopruttjab.

2. Do not keep four tapirs in a large pit.

3. Run away from purple whales, for they are unholy.

4. Never hurt mites.

5. Do not cook food in pots.