Fonquimtit is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, narcissistic tapir.

Fonquimtit created the Large Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fonquimtit, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fonquimtit, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Fonquimtit's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Fonquimtit's Holy Commandments

1. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always look after injured otters.

4. Never hurt bats.

5. Do not commit murder.