Bessmadpib is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, strong bird.

Bessmadpib created a top quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bessmadpib, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bessmadpib, he will turn you into a dog.

Bessmadpib's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Bessmadpib's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear mauve.

2. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Bessmadpib in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always look after injured eagles.

4. Never write about photosynthesis.

5. Never look at black holes.