Gesswotkarnarbesslogdot is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, astonishing wolf.

Gesswotkarnarbesslogdot created the planet Venus two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gesswotkarnarbesslogdot, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gesswotkarnarbesslogdot, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Gesswotkarnarbesslogdot's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Gesswotkarnarbesslogdot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Hide if seven porpoises approach from the east.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.