Babfotben is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, witty porpoise.

Babfotben created the cosmos nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Babfotben, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Babfotben, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Babfotben's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Babfotben's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt birds.

2. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near frogs while wearing white dresses.

4. Bats are not to be trusted.

5. Never think about quantum field theory.