Bamfodfad Hasbimbiss Tonbesting is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, effective giraffe.

Bamfodfad Hasbimbiss Tonbesting created the Sombrero Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bamfodfad Hasbimbiss Tonbesting, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bamfodfad Hasbimbiss Tonbesting, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Bamfodfad Hasbimbiss Tonbesting's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Bamfodfad Hasbimbiss Tonbesting's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather nine mites in one place.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Never mark doors with blue.

5. Never look at black holes.