Betsandtaf is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, capable bear.

Betsandtaf created Asia nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Betsandtaf, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Betsandtaf, he will curse you with boils.

Betsandtaf's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Betsandtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Betsandtaf.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Always treat ducks with great respect.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.